The Way to Heaven...

This is part 31 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

Thank you all for following me throughout this challenge. Your lovely comments and encouragement have meant the world to me. Do hope you will stick around as I'm planning to do awesome things with this blog!

See you on Monday!

Led By Heart: 6 ways of reconnecting with your heart

This is part 16 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

I don't know about you but I find that often the most important things in life are also the simplest. Despite our ceaseless effort to complicate everything, and to create problems where there are none, the simple truths are almost always the most valuable ones. I truly believe that in order to lead a happy life and to be free to follow our calling, we need to be led by our heart, and make decisions based on its quiet guidance.

It is through the heart that we can connect to whatever we believe is watching over us, guiding us, to what we really are. As much as we may try, it's impossible to find all the answers in our mind, to 'figure everything out' by thinking and reasoning. Although following the heart could be a step in the unknown, and it will mean, a lot of the times, a huge leap of faith, in the end it will for all of us feel like coming back home.

Heart is where Love resides in us, and decisions based on Love will always prove to be the best for everyone involved. I see this as a universal law. Because after all, at least to me, Love is God. And I want to do what He puts on my heart to do, and go where He leads me.

The 6 steps that I'm about to offer you here are all very simple. They might seem too simple to be true. And I guess that's a good sign.

#1 be alone from time to time
Learn to appreciate and make the most of solitude. Every so often spend some time in quiet meditation or contemplation. Sometimes taking a leisurely walk and being surrounded by nature is more than enough. Don't be afraid of your own thoughts or feelings, instead, try to accept them without judgement and then let them go. Slowly but surely this practice will lead to your greater concentration and awareness, which means you'll be able to discern much more easily where your guidance is coming from (the heart or the mind).

#2 be kind to yourself
This is so obvious, yet how often we fail to do just that. Be your own best friend. Treat yourself kindly and with compassion, accept responsibility for how you feel and what you're creating in your life. Forgive yourself. Take good care of yourself, listen to your body and what it needs. Kindness is one of the keys to opening every heart; your own, too.

#3 do more of what makes you happy
What makes you happy? I mean you. If nobody was watching, if you could do anything...  I bet a lot of us don't even think about it, we just don't really know. Because somewhere along the way we've adopted the expectations, the 'usual' approach and the 'common' perceptions of happiness. But what does it mean specifically to you? 
If you want, write it down, make a list! Remember what you used to love doing as a child, what your dreams were. Plan for it if you must. Put it in your schedule: make myself happy today.

#4 follow your intuition
This is your heart's voice - don’t underestimate it! Listen to it, wait till you hear it before you make a decision, and believe it! Summon the courage to do what it’s telling you. Yes, it can be scary, uncomfortable, even illogical. Because, let's be honest, from the point of view of this world, Love could seem illogical and unreasonable, it just exists and doesn't ask why. Have faith in yourself and your inner wisdom. The more you'll tune your perception to it, the more distinctive its voice will become.

#5 consider journaling
... or creating in any way as a means of giving vent to your feelings. I like writing and drawing/colouring mandalas. It's important not to censure yourself and to try and keep your mind 'switched off' in the process. Through this practice, you'll be able to gradually release all the greyness that's been lying heavy on your heart. Exercise or dancing helps unwind and tune in as well.

#6 embrace your vulnerability
... and that of others, too. That's what allows us to truly connect to each other and to our hearts. To me, it is also where our real beauty and humanity shows itself. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable and to express yourself and speak from your heart, say what you need to say and when you need to. It may be a slow journey, as your fear could be great, but it's also one that is most rewarding and worthwhile. You can take this path one little step at a time, opening up a bit more each day. 
You have what it takes!


I would love to hear what you do to reconnect with yourself. What practice have you found the most helpful?

Led By Heart: you'll find what you're looking for

This is part 15 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

What are you looking for?

What do you expect to find?

What kind of experience do you expect (intent, really) to have... when you're starting your day each morning, when you're meeting new people, when you're about to try something new, when you're sitting down at your desk wanting to get some work done?

Do you think that you'll have fun, that you'll be able to do whatever you need to do? Do you expect it'll be easy, or difficult? And how do you suspect people will react to what you're doing?

What are you looking for when you're looking at others and when you're talking to them? If they are of a different race, come form a low-income neighbourhood, their approach to faith/religion is different from yours? Are you looking for kindness, compassion, the quality of being human/a child of God? Or is it judgement, rejection, indifference?

I've realized today that I may have been looking for a job for several months, but I have not really been expecting to find it. I've been searching with a feeling of defeat and utter lack of trust. Deep down I didn't really believe I would find it; yes, because I didn't believe in my Self, and I have been expecting it to be difficult and have been focusing on all the obstacles and all my "weaknesses" and all the reasons why my CV is not "good enough". And I think that's why the opportunities have been so scarce...

Is it possible that that's how you, too, are looking for a new job or a new partner? Is that how you begin your exercise routine, how you're approaching that new project at work, or even your whole life?

___________

I absolutely love the message of this short film.

A documentarist Halley Bartholomew and her family decided to carry out a little experiment and look for "love" - and on a beach close to their home they began looking for heart-shaped pebbles.

Watch what they've found:



Finding Love from hailey bartholomew on Vimeo.


What are you looking for in life and in others?

P.S.: if you're not sure, just look around you - what you see is what you've been looking for up to this moment...

Led By Heart: when your heart's broken

This is part 12 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

It's been quite a long time since I was going through a heartbreak. Yet for some reason my heart has told me today to write about just that. And perhaps there is still something, a shadow, lying on my soul; a memory, a few tears I still haven't cried. And I think we all have them, hidden away...

When your heart has been broken. The relationship, the person that you wanted, loved, slips away from your life and it almost seems too easy for it to happen. It really doesn't take much. Sometimes it's just an ordinary goodbye that you know is the last. Sometimes it's just one sentence. The look in their eyes. Whoever first said that 'the saddest thing in the world is that two people who were once very close can without blame or grand betrayal become strangers'; I think they were right.

It's just so strange. You used to love me and now you're a stranger who happens to know all of my secrets. - Clementine von Radics

And you wish you'd lose these feelings as fast as they lost them.
And you promise yourself you won't think about them and then you break that promise again and again. Keeping yourself busy all the time, yet in those moments between things it flashes back into your mind. Missing them and thinking about them, knowing they aren't thinking about you, and worse, that they don't care.

And you may be asking yourself.
Why do I keep trying to find love?
Why do I keep holding out hope?
Don't I know better? You can't control people and their feelings. You can't trust them. It's not safe to be vulnerable. And loving makes you just that.

And yes, it's true that how long they choose to love you will never be your decision. Or whether they'll love you at all. You can't control that. But honestly, if you could, what would be the point? Where would all the beauty of it be? The unpredictable joy and mystery of love, of life. It just gives both, the greatest pain and the greatest happiness.

If you're going through a heartbreak right now, I want you to know this:

No matter what you think or feel. It wasn't a mistake that you loved them. Keep on loving, keep on falling in love, keep on opening your heart to others. But never forget to love yourself first.

I believe that very often we create our own heartbreaks through haughty expectations and a lack of self-love and self-worth. We also have to keep in mind is that we meet the exact people we need to meet in order to learn out lessons, in order to realize something about ourselves, to shake us awake, to tear apart and soften our ego, to point us to the unresolved, repressed, unhealed areas within us that are crying for our attention.

How long you'll take to learn this lesson is entirely up to you. Sometimes it takes just one heartbreak. Sometimes many.

And you may be thinking...

#1 ...it's keeping on hoping that hurts.
It's not. We cannot exist without hope. Cherish your hope and keep you heart (and mind) open. But what you do need to let go of are some false believes and unhealthy expectations - more on that later.

#2 ...I'm always the one who loves more.
Your love for others can never be bigger than your love for yourself. So if you think you love someone more than you love yourself, the ugly truth is that you need them, you need their love. There's a void in your chest that needs to be filled, but that's too big a task for any human and they felt it (any maybe that's why they left). Only you, your own love (with the help of God, if you believe in Him), can do it.
Or it could just be the quality of the people you choose. Ask yourself why you choose them. Do you choose broken people? Are you trying to fix anybody? Do you know that you can't change anyone, because people can only change themselves when they decide to? Do you know that you're actually supposed to love them as they are right now, in all their complexity, with everything they have, do, and are? If you need an actual reason to love someone, it's not love.

#3 ...I expect too much.
It could be true. They're only humans. Maybe they had been damaged. Being in love could be terrifying when you've already been hurt many times. We all have flaws and make mistakes - are you okay with that? Are you okay with your own mistakes?
But you should, on the other hand, become aware of what you ought to expect. Of what you deserve. You deserve honesty, transparency, loyalty, Love, protection, kindness, open arms. You deserve to be pursued and cherished and treated excellently. It's okay to want to be the only One in their eyes. They should think that - at least to them - you are perfect. Never settle for less.

#4 ...good men/women don't exist. All good men/women are already taken. 
This is just wrong and we both know it. If you've only been meeting the wrong guys/girls so far, it's time to start hanging out in different places and possibly also with different people. And it's time for some "mind cleansing"! 
You can try this: sit down with a pen and a piece of paper and on top of it write: What I think about men (or also What I think about romantic relationships). And then just write everything that comes to your head, do not censure yourself, do not stop to reread what you've written and do not judge it, keep going no matter how long it takes, until you reach the point when you don't have anything more to write. Suddenly, your mind will be blank. Empty. Perfect! Now you've created some space in your head for the TRUTH to get in. 
Have you ever wondered why you can't hear what your heart/intuition/God is saying? Yes, it's because your head is full of whatever your mind is currently producing and there's just no room for the Light to get in. Now that you've made that space, you will find out that some new  - much more loving, accepting and truthful - ideas and thoughts are coming in. 


In the end, I would like to tell you... Embrace everything. 

This is your life. Think of all the ups and downs you've had, all the triumphs and sorrows. All the lessons and how they've changed you, molded you into who you are. This is it. And it's a lot like a sine curve. Like waves on the ocean. You are going to be alright eventually. Cry as hard and as long as you need. Forgive them. Forgive yourself. Learn. Love again.

Don't let the heart that didn't love you keep you from the one that will.

Led By Heart: there's time for everything

This is part 8 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

Today was hard for me. I kept struggling with time, always falling behind what I thought was my schedule. I tried to persuade it to slow down and give me a few more minutes. I wished I would make more of my day.

Days like this... I know them too well.

And then I finally dropped everything to sit in silence with Him for a while and ask for guidance. I felt nervous and heartsick and there was that flood of harshness in my head getting ready to deluge me. But then I saw an image in my heart, of a woman strolling quietly and slowly in a blossoming orchard. No haste, no worries, no agitation. There was a sense of deep peace, a peace of knowing that there's a perfect time for everything. And every minute is precious and has its own beauty.

I once read a beautiful piece of wisdom saying that when you put the most important things first, there's time for everything.

I often forget that. I do everything else and everything else and everything else but that thing my heart keeps whispering to me about. Priorities... how often they elude us as we become trapped between what we think we should be doing and what we really want to do. So many distractions in today's world. But the heart won't be silenced, it'll always be waiting on us.

So, let's look at that schedule one more time. This is my precious day, my hours and my minutes. My life.

Dear heart, what do you want me to do next?


Time... our perpetual teacher. Here you'll find my tips on how to start using time wisely, and here's my reflection on the struggle of making the most of it.

Led By Heart: perception is everything

This is part 3 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

Through which eyes am I looking at the world?

The eyes of my ego, my inner judge, sometimes a tyrant, sometimes a wanna-be saint? The one that is always afraid, always assessing what's good and what's bad and never seeing the truth of it, making my life a roller-coaster ride?

To me, the truth is that if I don't love what I see, I don't really see it. I am not able to perceive the essence of it. Which is that it is a part of the Creation and therefore a part of me as much I am a part of it. We may appear to be divided, different to the bleary eyes of my inner critic, but in the eyes of the soul, we are One.

I am not above anyone, nor am I beneath anyone. I am on the same level - if indeed there is such a thing - with everyone and everything. But that is something the ego can never really acknowledge. In its eyes, I only see myself either as a winner, the one in control, the one that's better, smarter or more successful than others, or the loser, the big failure who will never be good enough. Up and down. Down and up. And so rarely in the centre. Oh how I wish I could exist in that centre of my being, of my life a little bit longer, a little bit more often. The peace, freedom and satisfaction of it...

Whatever I do, wherever I go, I look around me and perceive the world either as a friendly or an intimidating place, the people as kind or untrustworthy, the weather as lovely or horrible, my life as good or senseless, the way I look as pretty or plain, this day as great or wish-it-was-over. And all that can change back and forth in a minute. It's all a matter of whose eyes are watching. And I cannot rely on other people's judgment either. An apple doesn't taste the same to everyone, and I'll never know how it tastes to someone else. What good is there to feel pleased with my work if twenty people love my article and only three don't. What if it was the other way round? Would it really make my writing less worthy? It would be very wrong to let the opinions of others determine how I feel about what I do. Have I done my best, stretched myself, put my heart into it? If yes, that's all I need to know. And if not, well, maybe it just doesn't matter that much to me anyway.

I want to look at the world and people and see them as they are and not as what a part of me thinks they should be. I want to see with my heart's eyes. And I have a feeling that my heart is fearless and knows no judgment. I want to look at my life and see the possibilities, see that everything - and I really mean every thing - is good, because no matter what happens, something good will come out of it, if only the lessons learnt. I might be living in a big, strange city in a country I wasn't born in. I might be jobless and without friends and family. I might be broke... But all of that is just one possible interpretation, nothing more. I also might be living in a beautiful place, with the man I love, learning to stand still and breathe and realize that I am standing on my path, look down at my feet, then look a little bit further in front of me and see that the path goes on, even if I can now only see just half a meter ahead, and take a step in that direction. And that could really mean absolutely anything - sitting down and writing a to-do list, taking a shower, going for a walk, meditating. In fact, it just means making one, tiny decision and then acting upon it. And after that another one. And then another. Keep walking, one step at a time, taking it easy, having my heart as a navigator.

The way I view my life is a matter of choice. If I don't love what I see, if I feel miserable for it, it's my choice. I've once again looked through the bleary eyes, not the clear, bright, loving ones. In the past moment I forgot to listen to my heart, to choose my soul - my true Self. But I know it now. I can choose again. And it has to be decisive and intentional, it has to become my statement:

I choose Love. I choose to observe the whole of existence with my heart's eyes.