So you'd like to take part in a blogging challenge...

This is part 30 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

As I'm approaching the end of the writing challenge, there are a lot of things I'm becoming more and more aware of. Most of all: how glad I am that I decided to do this. Over the years at university, composing utterly unexciting, rigorous essays, I completely forgot I actually love to write. And all of a sudden my long buried dreams of becoming... well... something of a writer, are coming back to me and they feel so irresistible. I don't know where all of this is leading. I don't know what's waiting for me behind the next bend of the road. But I suspect that whatever it is, it will find me writing. Creating.

I just love the term 'wordsmith'. If I dared to have a wish, it would be to become one - a master of words. Someone who's able to use them for the best kind of communication, the one between two hearts.


Here's what I've learnt about/thanks to writing and creating consistently for an entire month: 

#1 You can do this!
Did I think I could do this when I started? Probably not. But honestly, I didn't give it much thought, I just knew I had to try!
And you can do it, too! It is definitely doable, though it helps a lot if you have someone who will hold you accountable and who will push you a little bit when the original excitement drops and you waver in your determination.

#2 To make a habit of writing, make it non-negotiable
I simply decided that I will write no matter what. I turned it into a normal, everyday activity, just like making dinner or exercising. Perhaps it takes "the magic" of it a little bit, but if you're like me - inconsistent and lacking a substantial discipline - this is absolutely necessary.

#3 When the impulse comes, don't overthink it
I personally find that the first little idea is usually the best. Also, when you come across something that excites you and makes your heart beat faster and suddenly gives a lot more meaning to your day - and it could be in any area of your life - you should go for it. If you stop and think about all the possible difficulties and setbacks, or decide that you won't start until you have everything carefully planned out, the odds are your will never do it. Allow yourself to go with the flow. Do the first small step and then let life surprise you!

#4 No, it really doesn't have to be perfect - and it won't be!
Yep, I really had to get rid of my perfectionism for this challenge. I had to write fast and just get it done. And it's sooo liberating to hit that publish button and not worry about re-reading it one more time or re-writing that difficult paragraph. Because really, who says it should be perfect? And what is 'perfect' anyway? I decided to create my own 'perfect', which is 'written from the heart, with intention to connect to others and help them as much as I can, and have fun doing it!'.

#5 Keeping all your other priorities in mind is essential, though!
Make sure that you do not become too absorbed in your creative process or in the online world. Don't you have a family to feed and a house to clean? I know... but seriously, I had to remind myself sometimes that there are actual, real people in my life who need my attention, time, love and care - and a lot of it, too. So just schedule your daily tasks cleverly.

#6 Trust the process
Once again, you don't have to have it all figured out and planned out. Trust yourself and the source of your inspiration. Start with the first thing that catches your attention and see where it'll lead you. Try to be a little more spontaneous in your writing. Give your inner creativity some space to expand and bloom, spend quality alone-time, surround yourself with beautiful, inspiring objects, go out into the nature... it might not happen over night, but eventually you'll be able to get into the flow much more easily.

#7 It's good to live what you write
To me, that's a matter of personal integrity. If you post some tips on improving your life or advancing your spiritual practice, you should make sure they really work for you and follow through with them. It's so easy to give people advice, we all seem to be experts on solving other people's problems, right? Make sure to start with yourself. After all, having our life as an example is the best advertisement.

#8 Make art a habit, not a chore
Don't exhaust yourself. That creative part of you needs to rest and recharge from time to time. If you want to get serious about your writing, you'll have to make it a habit, but it mustn't be something you have to do. Obligation kills imagination.


What do you do to stay creative? :)

Your life is important

This is part 28 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

That's right, your life is important.

You and your life matter.

Did you know that? Do you know that? Do you live that?

I know I used to listen to people sharing their grand dreams or talking about how they've created something wonderful and helped lots of people, and I used to think "Well, that's awesome, but that's THEM. They could do it. People like them - whatever that means - can do things like that." But somehow I never included myself in "their" category. I viewed my life as little and isolated and, yes I can just say it, insignificant. My little life, my little self, doing my little thing, nothing that important really... But believing this is believing a lie.

When you think of it, this attitude is simply irresponsible. It can lead to idleness, lots of wasted opportunities and ultimately a life of regrets. I've said it before and here it comes again: you have a destiny to fulfill! You've been given certain gifts and abilities so that you could USE them; the most important one being your ability to LOVE. So claim your responsibility for it. All of your gifts, everything. Share it, spread it, give it freely, create some more!

And if you're still wondering, no, I'm not saying that we should just all come up with some ambitious scheme to change the world.

But we have to realize that it all starts with each and every one of us. And I've met far too many wise, insightful, loving and caring people who were constantly playing it small, not believing in themselves and in all of those amazing things they had to offer. And so they could have become true pillars of their family and their community, but they viewed themselves as little. One thing you have to keep in mind: if you don't believe in yourself, nobody will.

Don't waste it. Whatever it is that you have to share, to contribute. Don't waste it. And yes, I'm talking to YOU! You are not by any means excluded from this. If you think there's nothing in you good enough or worth sharing, I urge you to think again. Can you love? Can you help? Can you listen? Can you care? Then you have the exact qualities this world needs most.

Do you know that God wants you to be His agent? He wants you to extend His love and blessings to as many people as possible. You can work undercover if you want. But know that if He thinks you have what it takes (which He does), you HAVE what it takes!

By acknowledging that your life matters, you acknowledge that for others, too. You can make a difference; if you don't know where to start, simply ask for guidance, trust that still small voice within you. Know your gifts and dare to use them. Dare to aspire to something greater. Whatever 'greater' means to you.


So, what does it mean to you?

What do you put first?

This is part 24 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

I really like the idea of saying "It's not a priority for me", instead of "I'm just so busy, I don't have time for that." Why going to the trouble of coming up with all the excuses when most of the time the truth is plain and simple. We make time for who and what we want. 

What are you putting first in your life? And is it really what matters most?

It seems to me that the biggest lesson yet to be learnt for me is how to balance it all. All the parts and aspects of my life... I think it's time to set my priorities straight, so that it would no longer be about what I want right now, but what matters most to me. Let's make it priorities over conveniences.

I believe that that's how we change our lives - it is only when what we truly want most is firmly placed in our hearts, that we'll be able to make better moment-to-moment decisions, plan our day in a more meaningful day, and very plainly: be happier.

Our priorities are not what we say they are, they're reflected in how we live.

We always have time for the things we put first. Let's begin finding ways and stop making excuses.

And this is my (renewed) list:

My spiritual life.
My relationship with God, with myself and the world. Seeing Him in everyone. Creating a life filled with peace, trust, love and forgiveness. Helping people. Sharing what I've learnt along my journey.
Creating memories and having experiences, not more things.

My relationship with my man, my family and friends.
Always making time for them. Supporting and encouraging. Caring.

My job.
Finding one. Becoming financially independent. Making a difference. Doing something meaningful, useful, helpful. Doing what I love. Being proud of my work. Staying curious, humble and keeping a beginner-mentality.

My hobbies. 
Writing, drawing, exercising, cooking, reading, traveling, dancing, arts, films, languages...
Caring for the environment. Having an 'green' lifestyle.

(to be modified... & continued...)


What's on your list? :)

5 questions you should ask yourself every day

This is part 23 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

How often do we go through our day without pausing at least once to catch our breath, take a step back and think about what we're doing?

If you're like me, you're able to rush through the day, think about five hundred things at once - none of them being what you're doing at that moment, let yourself be distracted by whatever comes, and in the end find yourself irritated, asking where have all the hours gone? Before I began my awareness practice, very often I would become stuck in some - not exactly important - activity, many minutes would pass and when I looked back it was difficult for me to recall in detail what I'd been doing. That's how far I was able to get from the present moment. And from my priorities.

I am convinced that if we want to lead meaningful, fulfilling lives, we need to start paying much more attention to what we're doing. In other words, we must be aware. Conscious. To help with that, I've come up with 5 questions we can ask ourselves throughout the day to make sure that we're on the right track, making the most of our time, and doing something that will lead to our greater happiness, too.

And the first question, then, must be:

#1 am I present? 
And am I aware?
You'll probably ask yourself this after a while of a mental past/future diversion. And that's okay. Being present takes practice like anything else. And you will get better. Let's take this question as a present-reminder. Remember, this moment is the only one you really have. And I know you've probably heard this many times before, but do take the time to meditate on this truth. Your remaining in the past or future can only bring you suffering, disappointment and a fruitless life.

#2 how am I feeling?
Do you know at all? I know I used to go through my day not having a clue how I was feeling! And then something would happen and all of a sudden I would realize (sadly, due to my overreaction) that I'd been upset or stressed the whole time.
Take a deep breath, put your hand over your heart if you want, and ask yourself... Am I okay, right now, with what I'm doing? Is there a tension, discomfort or pain somewhere in my body? Am I relaxed and feeling calm? If not, why not?
Pray a little bit or ask your heart what you should do to get your joy back.

#3 am I doing what's really important?
And am I doing my best?
In other words, are you doing what you should be doing based on your personal priorities? What are you devoting your time to? Is this activity going to benefit anyone? Is it going to make your life better in any way? Is it absolutely necessary? If not, find the strength and awareness in yourself to get away from it now!
And if you are doing something meaningful, then are you giving it your best? Not in a perfectionistic kind of way, but in a way that won't cause you any regrets in the future.

#4 am I doing something for others?
Have I or am I about to serve someone today?
You know it: No man is an island, entire of itself... We are in this together (this = existence on this planet and all). And I believe that we really should help each other out as often as we can, and learn to truly love people. If you are a Christ-follower, you know that this is His most important and most powerful message: "...that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples..."

Your service doesn't have to be anything big. You could make someone's day by a simple compliment, by being a good listener, by giving your time and a helping hand to them.

#5 am I being authentic?
In other words, are you following your heart? Are you doing what you know in your heart is right?Are you saying what needs to be said? Standing up for yourself and others?
Are you expressing yourself in a way that is natural to you, or are you constantly worried about your image, the opinions of others, about what's "appropriate"? Do you let fear dictate how you're going to behave?
Make a decision that you're going to set yourself free and start exploring what is your natural, your happy and your best!


Share with me in the comments which of these questions you'd like to incorporate in your daily life!


Lots and lots of...

Choose by your heart...

This is part 22 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

If people were to take just one piece of wisdom from this series, I would like it to be this:

Do what your heart tells you. Think less, feel more.

And you may think But I can't go about my life without the logical thinking, without my reason. And I am here to tell you that you have a great source of wisdom within you that can get you through anything, any amount of difficulties, any dilemma or setback. If you believe in some sort of Higher Power, you surely know that It doesn't communicate with us through our mind. No, it's the heart. Always.

But can you trust it?

Consider this: from all the decisions you've ever made in your life, the ones based on logical assessment, calculation, (over)thinking, discussing the options with others, writing down pros and cons, taking into account what's "more common" or "normal"... and the ones when you followed that inner nudge and somehow you knew that you should do it that particular way, but you couldn't explain why... which ones turned out to have been leading to your happiness (and everyone else's, too)?

I would like to share with you one of my favourite quotes from Osho. May it inspire you to dare to follow your heart's calling.

Have you ever dared to follow your heart fully? How did it turn out for you?

What to do when every day feels the same

This is part 20 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

I'm right in the middle of it. The rut. And I know that the stereotype of each and every day can be suffocating. Now that I am unemployed / slooowly starting to work from home - which means I'm AT home all the time - it's becoming increasingly difficult to retain that fresh and joyful outlook on life or at least some level of positivity.

That's why I was inspired today to come up with a list of things and activities to make my days a little more exciting. If you find yourself in a similar situation in life, I hope you'll get some inspiration here as well. Do leave me a comment with your experience or bits of wisdom on how you get over those times when you feel stuck in a rut!

Here are my tips:

#1 plan something exciting for every week
It's important to have things to look forward to. It could be a weekend trip out of town, a visit to an art exhibition, or meeting a friend in that new café. There are lots of free / affordable events and meet-ups in most cities. If you live in or near London, I recommend Time Out's Things to do in London for under a tenner.

#2 plan your day right
You should schedule stuff in your day so that you'll have time not only to work or do your chores, but also to play! Ideally, those two will alternate throughout the day. I suggest 40 minutes of work and then 20 minutes of fun. In your 'fun time', you can check your social networks (but don't get stuck there!), call a friend, read a chapter from a book, do something creative (write, draw, knit, sing...), work on one of your personal goals, do a bit of yoga or meditation... Make good use of this time! The better you use it, the more energized you'll be for the 'work time'.

#3 go outside
Going for a short and brisk walk will clear your head and get new ideas flowing. If you can, go where you'll be surrounded by nature.

#4 be the organizer
Instead of waiting to be invited somewhere or just sit at home bored, how about taking the initiative? Organize a dinner party, a little book club, a trip to the cinema or a scrabble tournament with your friends, it really can be anything you enjoy doing!

#6 talk to people 
Keep in touch with your family and friends - it's easy to get into a hermit mode when you're stuck at home all the time, so make sure to get out of your shell as often as you can and share whatever is happening in your life with your loved ones. 
Also, know what’s happening around you and in the world - that means follow the news, read about new stuff in your area of interest, keep your mind fresh. Not only will you have things to talk about to others, but it will also at times prevent you from going crazy.

#5 don't forget to move
Stand up, stretch and walk around a bit regularly, long sitting in one position is VERY bad for you. Try to exercise at least twice a week. It doesn't have to be anything exhausting, how about Pilates, yoga or tai-chi?

#5 don't forget to rest
In case you’re in the other category and you're running around all day long... Make sure to take some time just for yourself and do something that makes you happy, refreshes you and gives you peace of mind.

#8 incorporate new things into every day
You can try a new recipe, a book you wouldn't normally read but a friend was excited about it, a different film genre, a different outfit combination, a different path on your daily walk, a new exercise routine, a new creative hobby... At times, even a little change helps.


What do you do to add a bit flavour to your life?

Led By Heart: 10 steps to forming new friendships

This is part 9 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

I know a lot of us are looking to form new friendships, but don't know where to start or feel overcome by shyness or insecurities. As someone who has quite recently moved to a different country, I know that it's not easy to become close with new people, sometimes even to get to talk to them. In the end I decided to view all this as an opportunity to grow, a chance to rely on my heart more and more every step of the way. This is what I've learnt so far:

#1 start with yourself
Do you believe that you are a lovely, interesting person whom others would love to have as a friend? I'm not talking about egotistical self-love and being convinced that everybody has to be crazy about you, but you should like yourself and have a good opinion of yourself! Be aware of and appreciate all the good qualities that you have, all the things you can do and the experience you can share with others. Perhaps you are kind and supportive, or you have great sense of humour, maybe you're an amazing story-teller or a good listener - all of that counts!

#2 focus on giving
By that I mean that you should meet people and talk to them with a giving mindset - focus on adding value to the conversation and to their lives, not on primarily getting their attention and their friendship. Show genuine interest in them, listen to them with an open heart, ask follow-up questions, but also add your authentic views and experiences, expand on their stories, mention something new or interesting that you've perhaps recently heard or read. A giving attitude also means being happy here and now, letting go of expectations and just enjoying the company of others.

#3 check your expectations
We may be carrying an idea of a "perfect" friend in our hearts, but in real life we meet all sorts of people and yes, at first sight they might not seem like the right "match" for us. They are not of the same age, have different background and interests, they have a slightly different outlook on life, perhaps they're not believers and you are, perhaps their faith is different. And your immediate reaction could be to rule them out and stop paying much attention to them. But you could be missing out on so much! What if they are the kind of people who will drop anything to come to you and offer help when something urgent or bad has happened? What if they are so different from you that your discussions and time spent together will turn out to be an amazing stimulation and a chance to experience new things, get out of your comfort zone and have fun? Okay, maybe they won't become your best friends, but still, they could be someone with whom you'll get to attend that super indie film festival of Hungarian 1970s underground cinema, or that colour powder run, or that scary speed dating session!

#4 stop hiding and start interacting
You can begin with very small steps and changes to grow your confidence when meeting people. First step: when you're walking on a street, don't stare at the ground in front of you when you're passing someone. Look up and look them in the eyes --- and smile! And then, repeat. Phew, it wasn't so hard, was it? Now, you could, if appropriate, say "hi", too. If it's your neighbour or someone you meet often, how about making a little comment about the weather, the traffic, or anything that's currently happening around you?

#5 say something
Let's expand your interaction scope to even more people, perhaps someone you travel with on the train, or someone you meet in the lift or stand next to in a queue - and you notice they have an amazing handbag, their dog is super cute, their child is uncommonly well-behaved ;) --- tell them, give them a compliment, say something nice, and if you follow it with a question, even better.
That applies to Facebook (and other social websites) and blogs, too. Don't just read their stuff or look at their photos and put "a like" there, and that's it - comment on it, express yourself, show them that you're interested! Don't think you can't make friends that way - you can always connect to someone else who has commented, you just never know.

#6 get out there
That's the usual advice, I suppose. Get out there, you won't meet new people if you stay at home all the time. Enroll for a language course, a yoga class, attend seminars, free talks, church events, art exhibitions, volunteer, join a walkers' club. The possibilities are endless...

#7 organize it
... but if you still can't find anything you'd be interested in, organize something yourself (a carboot sale, a fundraiser for local animal shelter, a knitting competition...)! You can check out websites like meetup.com to find likeminded people and set up a meet-up group for your specific interest.

#8 keep in touch with the friends you already have
And call the ones you haven't spoken to for a long time. What about some of your old classmates or guys from your previous work - I mean the ones you liked and got on well with - it could be worth the try!
By the way, your friends have friends, too. And they can introduce you to them ;)

#9 be intentional and present
Set a clear intention that you're going to be open to new things and new people. Be present and aware when you're with others and seek opportunities for commenting, complimenting and connecting (well, that's one unintentional triple 'c' right there!).

#10 relax and trust
It will come. You will meet the right people at the right time. Follow your intuition boldly. Believe that it's leading you in the right direction - because it is! And if you get the cold shoulder, please don't take it personally, don't let it discourage you. Embrace all that as part of your journey. Keep calm and carry on!

Led By Heart: on forming genuine friendships

This is part 7 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

This is huge. I can feel the rise of ideas and emotions in me as I'm about the start this post. The longing for a true friend. Who hasn't experienced that?

Intimacy, understanding, complete trust, sharing laughs and tears, having each other's back, honesty, togetherness. Love.

Why is it so hard to share all that with someone, with others?

It seems to me that we have become too careful and in a way distrustful. And far too casual. These days, everyone likes to act casually, like nothing is really that important, nothing is a big deal, and we should just chill and take it easy. By no means should we appear too eager, approachable, open. It's inadvisable to wear your heart on your sleeve. No, one should keep it nicely protected, after all, it does hurt the most when the pain comes from the heart. And those things happen all the time...

In my life, I've had to overcome a lot of prejudices about friendships and making friends. The biggest one is that when you're past certain age, you should have made all the good friends by now as it is unlikely that you'll form new, long-lasting friendships from this point on. Basically, that everyone is already 'taken', everybody has a best friend now, a fixed group of closest friends and there simply isn't any room for someone new. And yes, it does seem that way sometimes. When I think of my friends, I can see that they have their own 'groups' which I'm not part of, and their own 'best' friends. But I also know there are people of all ages feeling alone, looking to make friends.

Whenever I met someone I wanted to get to know better and become friends with, there was a certain barrier that I had to overcome - in me as well as in them. It felt like I had to step out, take a risk. And to my sorrow I didn't always have the courage to do that. But why does it have to feel so hard? What is it that makes us stop and hesitate when in fact we really want that? The delicacy of letting someone in...

It seems like an epidemic in the western society (especially, here in the UK), not to get personal. People seem reluctant and worried to ask a 'personal' question, they are constantly tiptoeing around each other, anxious not to offend, not to get too close. And every single time I notice this, my heart bursts with a silent shout How are you supposed to form a real connection with someone when you keep talking about work and the weather?! 

How crazy would it be to ask someone you find nice and interesting for their phone number because you want to see them again - yes, because you'd like to have a new friend? How crazy would it be to go and ask a clearly crestfallen colleague what's going on and what you can do to help, instead of acting like you haven't noticed because "it's none of your business"? And how about starting to chat with that person sitting next to you at that class, long-distance coach, annoyingly long queue - and then inviting other people into that conversation?

I know! It's scary! The fear of rejection, paralyzing shyness... I have been there, and perhaps still am. But what are we really afraid of? We're all 'just' people. We're all the same. We have the same insecurities, issues, the same fragile hearts. And when someone blocks you out, makes it clear they're not interested, so what? So it wasn't 'meant to be', it wasn't the right time, and surely it wasn't personal.

I just wish we stopped viewing people as distant, strange, unapproachable creatures - after all, we're all brothers and sisters. I wish we didn't exclude others from our hearts and our circles, hiding indifferently in our "special" relationships, and instead were all special to one another.

It has to start in the heart, my heart, yours...


Have you ever struggled with making new friends? What would make it easier for you? Any piece of wisdom would be much appreciated :)

Led By Heart: own up to what you believe in

This is part 4 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

But what will people think?

I don’t often talk about my believes with other people, not even my close friends. Practically no one knows that I believe in God, that some time ago I decided to walk through this life with Jesus as a companion and friend. It’s all a bit tricky, though, because I wouldn’t call myself a traditional Christian. It’s because I also recognize Buddha and his teachings. I believe we were not given just this one life to live, but tens of thousands of them. To me, that is God’s incredible grace, that if we screw up in this lifetime (which we're pretty much bound to), we’ll get a new chance and then another one... until we get it right and finally learn what truly matters and start to obey the Divine laws and remember who we really are. And what we are is a manifestation of His love, His wisdom, and His playful creativity. We are His beloved children, we carry His essence inside of us and we are never ever separated from Him - we might think we are, we might wish we were, but that doesn’t change anything at all.

I also believe that I am really not who I appear to be - I am not a young woman with such and such education, I am not a former teacher, waitress, girlfriend, daughter, sister, a Londoner. I am a Spirit. I must smile as I’m writing this... That’s right, I said it! I am an eternal Spirit. We all are.

And on top of that, I also believe that animals have souls, too. No one, who’s ever spent some time with animals or had a beloved pet, can have any doubts about that. No matter what the church says, what the different religions say... We humans are not the only ‘soulful’ beings on this planet. And we should be glad that it is so.

What actually prompted me to write all this was my fear. As I became aware that some of my friends will read my blog, I thought: But what will they think? And now I’m sitting here thinking... yeah, what will they think? I just don’t know. It could be anything. Their reaction could be mean, amused, pitiful, resentful, indifferent, or kind, or anything else. Maybe they just won’t care, maybe it won’t change anything. But the point is - why should it matter to me?

Most people are terribly concerned with what other people think of them. And most people also like to claim that they don’t care at all, but deep down they do - and very much so. It’s just “cool” nowadays to say: I don’t care what people think. It’s almost to be expected. It’s part of the roles we play. But we still want to be loved and approved of. We are scared of rejection, of being laughed at. I think that the fact we’re seeking validation in the outside world is one of the main causes of emotional pain. Because the opinions of others change all the time. And if we depend on them, then our emotions are up for a roller-coaster ride. And what if there was no one in our lives who would approve of us? Oh well... No, we can’t get lost in all this. We must be the ones, always, under all circumstances, who likes us, who approves of us, who supports us, who’s there for us.

It’s okay to hope that people will like me, that they will understand me, accept me with all my believes, with my faith, but if they don’t? Then I can’t let that make me doubt myself, try to change or to comply with their expectations. I can’t let that make me like myself less.

So, as a means of conquering the fear of other people’s opinions, I am writing this post. Because I don’t want to limit myself and my writing any longer. I want to speak from my heart, be honest and authentic. And most of all, I don’t want to be worried, I don’t want to pause in the middle of a sentence, lift my fingers off the keyboard and reconsider my words thinking What will they think? Is this okay? I want to be above all that. And as I think of it now, most of the time our fear is based on our projections, on something unreal, inexistent. It appears as a sign that a shift in our expectations is required.

How about expecting that as long as I'm following my heart everything will turn out for everyone’s highest good?

How about pressing forward knowing that it’s all in good hands (in the best hands, actually)?

Led By Heart: Know Your 'Why'

This is part 2 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

Why am I doing this?

Yesterday, I became completely absorbed in this writing challenge, today I've spent hours reading the other blogs, admiring their gorgeous designs, meaningful topics, their clever social networks linking. So, I went on to spend even more time following the discussions on Facebook, liking and commenting, pinning all the interesting blogs to my Pinterest board, improving "the look" of my page, then pinning some more. Thinking about my topic and how it is so very... ordinary. A kind of a topic that is not destined to get me a lot of readers, it won't make me popular, the talk of the town. No, clearly not. I check how many views my post has. Is it increasing? Not really. For a moment, I stop and hesitate. A question appears out of nowhere What's the point then? I feel tired and the whole thing has barely begun. My excitement is vanishing. My heart is heavy in my chest. I don't know what to do. I hate this thought What's the point...

But if I must have it answered, here it goes:

The point is joy, the point is lightheartedness, fun, being creative, stretching myself, being committed to something worthwhile for a change, getting out of my comfort zone, discovering interesting and inspiring people, surprising myself with what I'm able to do, finally reconnecting with my heart by getting all the grey bits out through writing. To stop seeking wisdom and guidance outside of me and turn within. Because it is there and has always been. My heart, the home of my soul, God's beautiful spark. This spark alone could sustain me, help me with everything, nourish me, guide me, strengthen me, encourage me. It is there to make sure that I always know who I am, so that I can be reminded again and again that in spite of my feeling alone, different, singular, I am in fact always and forever an inseparable part of the wonderful Wholeness of Creation, that I am - we are - made of stars and they are reflected in us, too. So why compare myself to anyone?

Today, I've made a decision. I am going to do this for me. Not to prove something, not to compete with others, compare my work with theirs, not to stress about attracting readers and waste my precious time trying to figure out all the gimmicks and tricks of "connecting" and "making myself more visible online". All of it is only taking me away from the truly important - creating, writing, rediscovering. And so I am letting go of all the expectations, too. I am going to enjoy this one sentence at a time. One day at a time. And if nothing happens? Well, I am here doing what I love - that's already something, is it not?

It's funny how people are always happy with their work until they see what somebody else has done. In that moment the little nagging devil of comparison comes in. And after him, the doubt. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we lack confidence so much? Do not misunderstand me, I think it is great to see what others are doing, appreciate their work and perhaps gain some inspiration from it, but that should be all! The mere fact that a certain approach, style, topic is working for a certain someone does not mean that it's the right thing for me as well. And who says that theirs is the best way, the one where the "success" is guaranteed? If it's just that little unloving voice in my head - which it is - I am not going to listen to any longer.

I am here to find my own style, my own way of doing things. And more than anything, to do my best and let go of the rest.

Today, my heart is telling me this: Create and the improvement will come. Create, have faith, be consistent, be bold, be honest, and one day, to your surprise, you might find that others are looking up to you. Wanting a bit of your approach, your style. But that won't make you all puffed up. It'll make you smile humbly. Because that approach is just this: courageous authenticity. Being yourself, simply and openly.

My heart whispers: Know your 'why' and make sure that it's to do with me. You don't want to be trying to impress anyone, rather appreciate what others are doing knowing that in the end, you are all working towards the same goal. Be authentic. Don't make such a big deal out of it. Don't let the pleasure of pure creating slip away. Smile.