The Way to Heaven...

This is part 31 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

Thank you all for following me throughout this challenge. Your lovely comments and encouragement have meant the world to me. Do hope you will stick around as I'm planning to do awesome things with this blog!

See you on Monday!

So you'd like to take part in a blogging challenge...

This is part 30 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

As I'm approaching the end of the writing challenge, there are a lot of things I'm becoming more and more aware of. Most of all: how glad I am that I decided to do this. Over the years at university, composing utterly unexciting, rigorous essays, I completely forgot I actually love to write. And all of a sudden my long buried dreams of becoming... well... something of a writer, are coming back to me and they feel so irresistible. I don't know where all of this is leading. I don't know what's waiting for me behind the next bend of the road. But I suspect that whatever it is, it will find me writing. Creating.

I just love the term 'wordsmith'. If I dared to have a wish, it would be to become one - a master of words. Someone who's able to use them for the best kind of communication, the one between two hearts.


Here's what I've learnt about/thanks to writing and creating consistently for an entire month: 

#1 You can do this!
Did I think I could do this when I started? Probably not. But honestly, I didn't give it much thought, I just knew I had to try!
And you can do it, too! It is definitely doable, though it helps a lot if you have someone who will hold you accountable and who will push you a little bit when the original excitement drops and you waver in your determination.

#2 To make a habit of writing, make it non-negotiable
I simply decided that I will write no matter what. I turned it into a normal, everyday activity, just like making dinner or exercising. Perhaps it takes "the magic" of it a little bit, but if you're like me - inconsistent and lacking a substantial discipline - this is absolutely necessary.

#3 When the impulse comes, don't overthink it
I personally find that the first little idea is usually the best. Also, when you come across something that excites you and makes your heart beat faster and suddenly gives a lot more meaning to your day - and it could be in any area of your life - you should go for it. If you stop and think about all the possible difficulties and setbacks, or decide that you won't start until you have everything carefully planned out, the odds are your will never do it. Allow yourself to go with the flow. Do the first small step and then let life surprise you!

#4 No, it really doesn't have to be perfect - and it won't be!
Yep, I really had to get rid of my perfectionism for this challenge. I had to write fast and just get it done. And it's sooo liberating to hit that publish button and not worry about re-reading it one more time or re-writing that difficult paragraph. Because really, who says it should be perfect? And what is 'perfect' anyway? I decided to create my own 'perfect', which is 'written from the heart, with intention to connect to others and help them as much as I can, and have fun doing it!'.

#5 Keeping all your other priorities in mind is essential, though!
Make sure that you do not become too absorbed in your creative process or in the online world. Don't you have a family to feed and a house to clean? I know... but seriously, I had to remind myself sometimes that there are actual, real people in my life who need my attention, time, love and care - and a lot of it, too. So just schedule your daily tasks cleverly.

#6 Trust the process
Once again, you don't have to have it all figured out and planned out. Trust yourself and the source of your inspiration. Start with the first thing that catches your attention and see where it'll lead you. Try to be a little more spontaneous in your writing. Give your inner creativity some space to expand and bloom, spend quality alone-time, surround yourself with beautiful, inspiring objects, go out into the nature... it might not happen over night, but eventually you'll be able to get into the flow much more easily.

#7 It's good to live what you write
To me, that's a matter of personal integrity. If you post some tips on improving your life or advancing your spiritual practice, you should make sure they really work for you and follow through with them. It's so easy to give people advice, we all seem to be experts on solving other people's problems, right? Make sure to start with yourself. After all, having our life as an example is the best advertisement.

#8 Make art a habit, not a chore
Don't exhaust yourself. That creative part of you needs to rest and recharge from time to time. If you want to get serious about your writing, you'll have to make it a habit, but it mustn't be something you have to do. Obligation kills imagination.


What do you do to stay creative? :)

Catching my breath today...

This is part 29 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

I never liked the saying, popular in my country of origin, that one ought to stop when things are at their best. But now that the challenge is coming to an end, I'm beginning to understand this idea more and more. And I'm wondering what it is that's making me press on and write. Even today, when it's raining outside and I feel exhausted and have dinner to make. How do I know that it's not just the ego wanting to reach that goal? Why is it important to have the 29th post published?

God knows I needed this consistency and yes, this achievement, too. But perhaps it's time to grow past that... I want to do everything with love. From my heart... reaching the hearts of others. Because how else can you reach them? So, if today I can't write from heart, and I actually feel it, in my chest, begging me for a minute of stillness and silence, a little private talk, together, maybe I ought to do that instead. To catch a breath.

Today my message is simple: stop and catch your breath. You don't have to do everything. Don't believe that voice in your head telling you that you do. Love yourself enough to rest, meditate and do at least one of the things that make you happy. You know, those things you've been putting at the end of your list, because, well, they're "just" for pleasure, they bring "only" plain, simple joy.

You deserve that.

You're meant to enJOY your life.

If your heart tells you to rest, allow yourself to do just that.


How are you going to enjoy your life today?

Your life is important

This is part 28 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

That's right, your life is important.

You and your life matter.

Did you know that? Do you know that? Do you live that?

I know I used to listen to people sharing their grand dreams or talking about how they've created something wonderful and helped lots of people, and I used to think "Well, that's awesome, but that's THEM. They could do it. People like them - whatever that means - can do things like that." But somehow I never included myself in "their" category. I viewed my life as little and isolated and, yes I can just say it, insignificant. My little life, my little self, doing my little thing, nothing that important really... But believing this is believing a lie.

When you think of it, this attitude is simply irresponsible. It can lead to idleness, lots of wasted opportunities and ultimately a life of regrets. I've said it before and here it comes again: you have a destiny to fulfill! You've been given certain gifts and abilities so that you could USE them; the most important one being your ability to LOVE. So claim your responsibility for it. All of your gifts, everything. Share it, spread it, give it freely, create some more!

And if you're still wondering, no, I'm not saying that we should just all come up with some ambitious scheme to change the world.

But we have to realize that it all starts with each and every one of us. And I've met far too many wise, insightful, loving and caring people who were constantly playing it small, not believing in themselves and in all of those amazing things they had to offer. And so they could have become true pillars of their family and their community, but they viewed themselves as little. One thing you have to keep in mind: if you don't believe in yourself, nobody will.

Don't waste it. Whatever it is that you have to share, to contribute. Don't waste it. And yes, I'm talking to YOU! You are not by any means excluded from this. If you think there's nothing in you good enough or worth sharing, I urge you to think again. Can you love? Can you help? Can you listen? Can you care? Then you have the exact qualities this world needs most.

Do you know that God wants you to be His agent? He wants you to extend His love and blessings to as many people as possible. You can work undercover if you want. But know that if He thinks you have what it takes (which He does), you HAVE what it takes!

By acknowledging that your life matters, you acknowledge that for others, too. You can make a difference; if you don't know where to start, simply ask for guidance, trust that still small voice within you. Know your gifts and dare to use them. Dare to aspire to something greater. Whatever 'greater' means to you.


So, what does it mean to you?

Where are you going?

This is part 27 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

I know, I know. I like asking questions. I ask them a lot.

Because I believe that if you really take the time to answer at least some of them for yourself, you will see your perception change.

You know, I also get asked a lot of questions. And one of the most frequent ones lately has been Have you considered going back home?

It's logical because I don't have a job here, besides my man I've only got one friend in the UK, I have zero social life (it's difficult to have one without money), and it is sometimes hard to remain cheerful when I'm isolated from everyone, keeping myself occupied with this or that, wanting to feel like I'm NOT wasting my time, while there's this other part of me that keeps telling me that I am. Sometimes I can even forget where I'm living now. And the world outside our windows seems so awfully peaceful and organized, and my thoughts and feelings are so not... And on the streets everybody seems to know where they're going while I'm just wandering around. And they all look like they belong somewhere and like they know what I don't about how to get in control of your life and make it happen.

And yet, deep down I do not envy them.

And my answer to that question is always: Yes, briefly. But I'm staying here.

Do you want to know why?

Because I've made a decision that I am not going back home until I have my victory or until all the Heavens come down to tell me that it's time to go!

I'm way past that point where I would fool myself into thinking that if I'm lost here, I can find myself somewhere else. No, you find stuff right where you've lost it. I'm way past that point where I would retreat back into my comfort zone when I've finally managed to break through it, albeit just a little bit. I'm not going back home until I have found out why I've been led here in the first place, until I've finished what I'm supposed to accomplish here, until I've discovered what I'm capable of.

I am not going anywhere until I've made the most of where I am right now.

As one of my favourite authors, Joyce Meyer, says: Don't ever move until you've bloomed where you're at!

And that's not really something anyone can decide about. That's how things are. You're never going to move forward until you've learnt all you were supposed to learn from that situation, and until you've accepted it AND yourself as you are/have been.

Of course, there are situations which you simply have to run away from, like those that threaten your life, physical or mental health, or general wellbeing. But even then, do make sure to always learn your lessons fully. If only so that you won't make the same mistake again. Don't ever shy away from an opportunity to grow. Yes, it is hard. It requires perseverance, patience and trust. But it is worth it.

I know my adventure here in the UK will be worth it. There's a promise nestled in my heart, there's a purpose behind everything I'm going through. There's my life, my potential, and that quiet yearning to follow my calling to be fulfilled.

So my questions for you today are:

Where are you going?
Have you bloomed where you're at?

Today: the day to live

This is part 26 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

You know what they say... people wait all week for Friday, all year for summer and all life for happiness...

Let's make a conscious choice now that we're going to stop waiting.

Today's quote is a little reminder for you for the forthcoming week.

You can make the most of your time.

One day at a time, one minute at a time.

Home is where the heart is: The Surrey Hills

This is part 25 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

Today, we walked along a part of the North Downs Way in Surrey, south-west of London. The forecast promised clear and sunny day, so I suppose we were lucky to get a (partly-)cloudy one. One thing I love about Britain is the sheer unpredictability of the weather. One minute it's pouring down with rain, and the next it's bright and the sun's shining. And then it begins to rain again... But even more I love the freshness and neatness of the countryside, the way the grass sparkles in the sharp autumn sunlight, the soft haze covering the lush meadows... Well worth the blisters and sore muscles! :)

What do you put first?

This is part 24 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

I really like the idea of saying "It's not a priority for me", instead of "I'm just so busy, I don't have time for that." Why going to the trouble of coming up with all the excuses when most of the time the truth is plain and simple. We make time for who and what we want. 

What are you putting first in your life? And is it really what matters most?

It seems to me that the biggest lesson yet to be learnt for me is how to balance it all. All the parts and aspects of my life... I think it's time to set my priorities straight, so that it would no longer be about what I want right now, but what matters most to me. Let's make it priorities over conveniences.

I believe that that's how we change our lives - it is only when what we truly want most is firmly placed in our hearts, that we'll be able to make better moment-to-moment decisions, plan our day in a more meaningful day, and very plainly: be happier.

Our priorities are not what we say they are, they're reflected in how we live.

We always have time for the things we put first. Let's begin finding ways and stop making excuses.

And this is my (renewed) list:

My spiritual life.
My relationship with God, with myself and the world. Seeing Him in everyone. Creating a life filled with peace, trust, love and forgiveness. Helping people. Sharing what I've learnt along my journey.
Creating memories and having experiences, not more things.

My relationship with my man, my family and friends.
Always making time for them. Supporting and encouraging. Caring.

My job.
Finding one. Becoming financially independent. Making a difference. Doing something meaningful, useful, helpful. Doing what I love. Being proud of my work. Staying curious, humble and keeping a beginner-mentality.

My hobbies. 
Writing, drawing, exercising, cooking, reading, traveling, dancing, arts, films, languages...
Caring for the environment. Having an 'green' lifestyle.

(to be modified... & continued...)


What's on your list? :)

5 questions you should ask yourself every day

This is part 23 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

How often do we go through our day without pausing at least once to catch our breath, take a step back and think about what we're doing?

If you're like me, you're able to rush through the day, think about five hundred things at once - none of them being what you're doing at that moment, let yourself be distracted by whatever comes, and in the end find yourself irritated, asking where have all the hours gone? Before I began my awareness practice, very often I would become stuck in some - not exactly important - activity, many minutes would pass and when I looked back it was difficult for me to recall in detail what I'd been doing. That's how far I was able to get from the present moment. And from my priorities.

I am convinced that if we want to lead meaningful, fulfilling lives, we need to start paying much more attention to what we're doing. In other words, we must be aware. Conscious. To help with that, I've come up with 5 questions we can ask ourselves throughout the day to make sure that we're on the right track, making the most of our time, and doing something that will lead to our greater happiness, too.

And the first question, then, must be:

#1 am I present? 
And am I aware?
You'll probably ask yourself this after a while of a mental past/future diversion. And that's okay. Being present takes practice like anything else. And you will get better. Let's take this question as a present-reminder. Remember, this moment is the only one you really have. And I know you've probably heard this many times before, but do take the time to meditate on this truth. Your remaining in the past or future can only bring you suffering, disappointment and a fruitless life.

#2 how am I feeling?
Do you know at all? I know I used to go through my day not having a clue how I was feeling! And then something would happen and all of a sudden I would realize (sadly, due to my overreaction) that I'd been upset or stressed the whole time.
Take a deep breath, put your hand over your heart if you want, and ask yourself... Am I okay, right now, with what I'm doing? Is there a tension, discomfort or pain somewhere in my body? Am I relaxed and feeling calm? If not, why not?
Pray a little bit or ask your heart what you should do to get your joy back.

#3 am I doing what's really important?
And am I doing my best?
In other words, are you doing what you should be doing based on your personal priorities? What are you devoting your time to? Is this activity going to benefit anyone? Is it going to make your life better in any way? Is it absolutely necessary? If not, find the strength and awareness in yourself to get away from it now!
And if you are doing something meaningful, then are you giving it your best? Not in a perfectionistic kind of way, but in a way that won't cause you any regrets in the future.

#4 am I doing something for others?
Have I or am I about to serve someone today?
You know it: No man is an island, entire of itself... We are in this together (this = existence on this planet and all). And I believe that we really should help each other out as often as we can, and learn to truly love people. If you are a Christ-follower, you know that this is His most important and most powerful message: "...that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples..."

Your service doesn't have to be anything big. You could make someone's day by a simple compliment, by being a good listener, by giving your time and a helping hand to them.

#5 am I being authentic?
In other words, are you following your heart? Are you doing what you know in your heart is right?Are you saying what needs to be said? Standing up for yourself and others?
Are you expressing yourself in a way that is natural to you, or are you constantly worried about your image, the opinions of others, about what's "appropriate"? Do you let fear dictate how you're going to behave?
Make a decision that you're going to set yourself free and start exploring what is your natural, your happy and your best!


Share with me in the comments which of these questions you'd like to incorporate in your daily life!


Lots and lots of...

Choose by your heart...

This is part 22 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

If people were to take just one piece of wisdom from this series, I would like it to be this:

Do what your heart tells you. Think less, feel more.

And you may think But I can't go about my life without the logical thinking, without my reason. And I am here to tell you that you have a great source of wisdom within you that can get you through anything, any amount of difficulties, any dilemma or setback. If you believe in some sort of Higher Power, you surely know that It doesn't communicate with us through our mind. No, it's the heart. Always.

But can you trust it?

Consider this: from all the decisions you've ever made in your life, the ones based on logical assessment, calculation, (over)thinking, discussing the options with others, writing down pros and cons, taking into account what's "more common" or "normal"... and the ones when you followed that inner nudge and somehow you knew that you should do it that particular way, but you couldn't explain why... which ones turned out to have been leading to your happiness (and everyone else's, too)?

I would like to share with you one of my favourite quotes from Osho. May it inspire you to dare to follow your heart's calling.

Have you ever dared to follow your heart fully? How did it turn out for you?

The Frightening Message: You can do it

This is part 21 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

I wouldn't be surprised if you all have seen this video already (it's been watched by over 11 million people), but I thought I would share it anyway. It's just so tremendously inspiring and uplifting that even if only one of my readers got to see it for the first time thanks to my post, it would be totally worth it. It's a little documentary about one man who suffered from all kinds of health problems, got morbidly obese, and was told he would never walk. And he decided not to give up.

Yes, it's a simple story, and could be considered a cliché by some. And yet, millions of people got drawn to it and became fascinated by it.

We love "the success stories" and we love to cheer for those who make it happen. But sometimes I think... that we kind of end there. There's this thought at the back of our heads saying "that's them, not me..." And it could be about any, even a small thing we would like to change in our lives.

I love what Arthur says in the second video: that his message is a frightening one. You can do it. It is possible. 

Why frightening? Because it's uncomfortable: Now that I know that I can do it, I have to get up and get moving. And not just once, but regularly, as often as possible. And it's going to be hard. I'm going to have to sacrifice some other things that are more fun. Not everybody is going to like what I'm doing. I'll have to spend a lot of time doing it. Maybe I'll fail.

And so on and on.

The mind will come up with countless excuses and reasons why not. And sometimes we are weak and we let it convince us that there's no point trying or we give up shortly after we started.

That's why this video is so important. It has the power to remind us that those reasons and excuses are lies. Simply and clearly.

I hope you'll be inspired by this story as much as I was - and still am. Let me know in the comments what you thought!

What to do when every day feels the same

This is part 20 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

I'm right in the middle of it. The rut. And I know that the stereotype of each and every day can be suffocating. Now that I am unemployed / slooowly starting to work from home - which means I'm AT home all the time - it's becoming increasingly difficult to retain that fresh and joyful outlook on life or at least some level of positivity.

That's why I was inspired today to come up with a list of things and activities to make my days a little more exciting. If you find yourself in a similar situation in life, I hope you'll get some inspiration here as well. Do leave me a comment with your experience or bits of wisdom on how you get over those times when you feel stuck in a rut!

Here are my tips:

#1 plan something exciting for every week
It's important to have things to look forward to. It could be a weekend trip out of town, a visit to an art exhibition, or meeting a friend in that new café. There are lots of free / affordable events and meet-ups in most cities. If you live in or near London, I recommend Time Out's Things to do in London for under a tenner.

#2 plan your day right
You should schedule stuff in your day so that you'll have time not only to work or do your chores, but also to play! Ideally, those two will alternate throughout the day. I suggest 40 minutes of work and then 20 minutes of fun. In your 'fun time', you can check your social networks (but don't get stuck there!), call a friend, read a chapter from a book, do something creative (write, draw, knit, sing...), work on one of your personal goals, do a bit of yoga or meditation... Make good use of this time! The better you use it, the more energized you'll be for the 'work time'.

#3 go outside
Going for a short and brisk walk will clear your head and get new ideas flowing. If you can, go where you'll be surrounded by nature.

#4 be the organizer
Instead of waiting to be invited somewhere or just sit at home bored, how about taking the initiative? Organize a dinner party, a little book club, a trip to the cinema or a scrabble tournament with your friends, it really can be anything you enjoy doing!

#6 talk to people 
Keep in touch with your family and friends - it's easy to get into a hermit mode when you're stuck at home all the time, so make sure to get out of your shell as often as you can and share whatever is happening in your life with your loved ones. 
Also, know what’s happening around you and in the world - that means follow the news, read about new stuff in your area of interest, keep your mind fresh. Not only will you have things to talk about to others, but it will also at times prevent you from going crazy.

#5 don't forget to move
Stand up, stretch and walk around a bit regularly, long sitting in one position is VERY bad for you. Try to exercise at least twice a week. It doesn't have to be anything exhausting, how about Pilates, yoga or tai-chi?

#5 don't forget to rest
In case you’re in the other category and you're running around all day long... Make sure to take some time just for yourself and do something that makes you happy, refreshes you and gives you peace of mind.

#8 incorporate new things into every day
You can try a new recipe, a book you wouldn't normally read but a friend was excited about it, a different film genre, a different outfit combination, a different path on your daily walk, a new exercise routine, a new creative hobby... At times, even a little change helps.


What do you do to add a bit flavour to your life?

Led By Heart: an entire ocean

This is part 19 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

Today, I leave you with my favourite quote from a Persian poet and Sufi mystic Rumi.

His wisdom and insight never cease to amaze me...

Although it may seem simple, do take the time to meditate on this truth. See where it leads you...

Let me know what you've discovered!

Led By Heart: the art of allowing

This is part 18 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

Today, I have one simple question for you.

Are you allowing yourself to have what you want?

And I don't really mean whether you buy those nice things that have taken your fancy. I don't mean whether you treat yourself to a little something from time to time - though I hope you do!

I'm talking about something a lot more important here. The big stuff.

Because there may be something you really want, and it could be that kind of desire that is deeply rooted in your heart, one that won't leave you and won't be entirely repressed, still lingering at the back of your mind, nudging you, making you excited, scared and hopeful at the same time. Maybe you've never told anyone about it. Maybe you haven't even been honest about it with yourself. And you tried telling yourself it's just a whim. Or that it's too big to be achievable. And it could be because you know it would make you vulnerable, get you out of your comfort zone and force you to just risk it.

We're sometimes secretly so scared that even if someone was handing us our dream on a silver plate, we couldn't bring ourselves to take it.

Or it could be a slightly different case: you've been working hard on your dream, yet you still can't 'get there', you're still not able to make it happen, to claim it as your own. And it's possible that you've begun to doubt whether you should keep pursuing it at all...

Either way, my question for you stands.

Are you allowing yourself to have it?

Fully and completely?

Are you open to it? Do you know that you deserve it, that you can have it?

Because what's yours will always come to you - unless you prevent it.

Sit down and have a little chat with yourself. This could be a subconscious thing and it might take some time for you to raise it to the light.

Ask your heart:

Am I hundred percent certain I want this?
Am I just focusing on the obstacles and worrying about all the problems that haven't even come up yet, am I stuck and blocked by fear and lack of trust? Or am I willing to take one baby step and see what happens?
Do I know that I know that I know that I know that I CAN have it? That it's okay, it's allowed, it's possible, and it's definitely worth trying and fighting for?

You owe it to yourself to press on.

If you come across any "buts", that is any fear-based reasons why not, take your time to observe them and try to find where they stem from. Is it something that happened in your past? Do you know that you are not who you were back then, and you don't need to drag it with you and keep identifying yourself with that person? We are new every day.

Practice awareness and watch out for any discouraging or doubting thoughts you have. Know how you talk to yourself. And whenever you hear something that's trying to bring you down and is not honouring your dream and who you are, change that thought! It could be a long process, but little by little you'll be able to let go, renew your thinking and heal.

I want to encourage you (and me, too, really!) to quit underplaying it, to stop putting it off till you feel 'more ready', to give yourself permission to do and have what you know in your heart you are called to do and meant to have.


Have you ever struggled with allowing and receiving? What helped you 'let it come'?

Led By Heart: how to forgive

This is part 17 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

Throughout my life I've read and heard many reasons why forgiveness is necessary. Why we need to forgive. The one which resonated with me for quite some time was that by forgiving we're doing ourselves a favour; we're letting go of something that's been weighing us down, causing us distress and pain, while the person behind all that doesn't know about our feelings and maybe doesn't even care. I liked the idea that I was supposed to do it for me, to have a peace of mind, while it remained clear that what that person did was wrong.

But over time I began to see things differently. Now, I think that forgiveness is not as much of a favour, as it is a service. And we know that service is always beneficial for both sides; and it's only right that it is so. To me, forgiveness isn't complete if we still view the other person as bad, as a wrongdoer, a culprit. And we can't forgive fully if we do it just for ourselves. As always, there's a bigger scheme, which we're part of, but we can't perceive it in its entire complexity.

When it comes to forgiving, there are at least two things we should keep in mind:

Everything happens for a reason.

We are all much more connected than we think.

So, why a service? Because I need forgiveness as much as you do. We all need to be forgiven.

And yes, if you are a believer, it it true that God forgives us everything, and He sees us as perfect, holy and most beloved. But that's not where it ends! Because now it's our turn. We are asked to forgive each other.

I like to think that people who do 'wrong', even those who commit evil things, are living in a dream, yet, to them it's very real. For some of them it resembles a nightmare, a living hell from which they cannot escape. Others think they thrive - or at least they want to - in their false reality. None of them knows who they really are. They identify themselves with untruthful idols, rules and all kinds of illusions. They have been deceived and live in a world of retribution, punishment, offense, hardship. And so, their deeds and actions reflect their desperation. Wouldn't you be desperate too if you were in their place?

Perhaps that's easy to say. Maybe something horrible has happened to you, something that seems unforgivable. But believe me, your suffering is theirs. And it could be tremendously hard, it could take a very long time, but I pray that one day you'll be able to see that forgiveness is the only answer.

Here's a couple of tips that could help you:

get it all out
If you still have repressed, hidden anger, reproaches and tears within you, you have to release it all before you'll be able to move on and be free.
One of my spiritual teachers taught me this little ritual that you could try: go somewhere where you will be alone and uninterrupted, grab two chairs, place them opposite one another, sit down. If you want, you can light a candle and place it between you and the empty chair. Try to imagine that the person you want to forgive is sitting there (and they are, in spirit). Now, if there's anything you need to tell them, do it. You can yell at them, berate them, cry, pour your heart out. Talk until there's nothing more to say.

return to your heart
Once the greyness is gone, you'll be able to see things in a new light. As always, talk to your heart, not your mind, about what you should do next or what it is that you haven't seen till now with regards to what happened. Your answers are there. Ask for a renewed perception. Or ask my favourite question of all time: What would Love do?

know
Know who you are (who we are, really). Know that whatever happened, it is over, and you are beyond that. Your life is now. Rely on your heart and believe it when it tells you that you have forgiven. Know that it is so.



How have you dealt with (un)forgiveness in your life?

Led By Heart: 6 ways of reconnecting with your heart

This is part 16 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

I don't know about you but I find that often the most important things in life are also the simplest. Despite our ceaseless effort to complicate everything, and to create problems where there are none, the simple truths are almost always the most valuable ones. I truly believe that in order to lead a happy life and to be free to follow our calling, we need to be led by our heart, and make decisions based on its quiet guidance.

It is through the heart that we can connect to whatever we believe is watching over us, guiding us, to what we really are. As much as we may try, it's impossible to find all the answers in our mind, to 'figure everything out' by thinking and reasoning. Although following the heart could be a step in the unknown, and it will mean, a lot of the times, a huge leap of faith, in the end it will for all of us feel like coming back home.

Heart is where Love resides in us, and decisions based on Love will always prove to be the best for everyone involved. I see this as a universal law. Because after all, at least to me, Love is God. And I want to do what He puts on my heart to do, and go where He leads me.

The 6 steps that I'm about to offer you here are all very simple. They might seem too simple to be true. And I guess that's a good sign.

#1 be alone from time to time
Learn to appreciate and make the most of solitude. Every so often spend some time in quiet meditation or contemplation. Sometimes taking a leisurely walk and being surrounded by nature is more than enough. Don't be afraid of your own thoughts or feelings, instead, try to accept them without judgement and then let them go. Slowly but surely this practice will lead to your greater concentration and awareness, which means you'll be able to discern much more easily where your guidance is coming from (the heart or the mind).

#2 be kind to yourself
This is so obvious, yet how often we fail to do just that. Be your own best friend. Treat yourself kindly and with compassion, accept responsibility for how you feel and what you're creating in your life. Forgive yourself. Take good care of yourself, listen to your body and what it needs. Kindness is one of the keys to opening every heart; your own, too.

#3 do more of what makes you happy
What makes you happy? I mean you. If nobody was watching, if you could do anything...  I bet a lot of us don't even think about it, we just don't really know. Because somewhere along the way we've adopted the expectations, the 'usual' approach and the 'common' perceptions of happiness. But what does it mean specifically to you? 
If you want, write it down, make a list! Remember what you used to love doing as a child, what your dreams were. Plan for it if you must. Put it in your schedule: make myself happy today.

#4 follow your intuition
This is your heart's voice - don’t underestimate it! Listen to it, wait till you hear it before you make a decision, and believe it! Summon the courage to do what it’s telling you. Yes, it can be scary, uncomfortable, even illogical. Because, let's be honest, from the point of view of this world, Love could seem illogical and unreasonable, it just exists and doesn't ask why. Have faith in yourself and your inner wisdom. The more you'll tune your perception to it, the more distinctive its voice will become.

#5 consider journaling
... or creating in any way as a means of giving vent to your feelings. I like writing and drawing/colouring mandalas. It's important not to censure yourself and to try and keep your mind 'switched off' in the process. Through this practice, you'll be able to gradually release all the greyness that's been lying heavy on your heart. Exercise or dancing helps unwind and tune in as well.

#6 embrace your vulnerability
... and that of others, too. That's what allows us to truly connect to each other and to our hearts. To me, it is also where our real beauty and humanity shows itself. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable and to express yourself and speak from your heart, say what you need to say and when you need to. It may be a slow journey, as your fear could be great, but it's also one that is most rewarding and worthwhile. You can take this path one little step at a time, opening up a bit more each day. 
You have what it takes!


I would love to hear what you do to reconnect with yourself. What practice have you found the most helpful?

Led By Heart: you'll find what you're looking for

This is part 15 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

What are you looking for?

What do you expect to find?

What kind of experience do you expect (intent, really) to have... when you're starting your day each morning, when you're meeting new people, when you're about to try something new, when you're sitting down at your desk wanting to get some work done?

Do you think that you'll have fun, that you'll be able to do whatever you need to do? Do you expect it'll be easy, or difficult? And how do you suspect people will react to what you're doing?

What are you looking for when you're looking at others and when you're talking to them? If they are of a different race, come form a low-income neighbourhood, their approach to faith/religion is different from yours? Are you looking for kindness, compassion, the quality of being human/a child of God? Or is it judgement, rejection, indifference?

I've realized today that I may have been looking for a job for several months, but I have not really been expecting to find it. I've been searching with a feeling of defeat and utter lack of trust. Deep down I didn't really believe I would find it; yes, because I didn't believe in my Self, and I have been expecting it to be difficult and have been focusing on all the obstacles and all my "weaknesses" and all the reasons why my CV is not "good enough". And I think that's why the opportunities have been so scarce...

Is it possible that that's how you, too, are looking for a new job or a new partner? Is that how you begin your exercise routine, how you're approaching that new project at work, or even your whole life?

___________

I absolutely love the message of this short film.

A documentarist Halley Bartholomew and her family decided to carry out a little experiment and look for "love" - and on a beach close to their home they began looking for heart-shaped pebbles.

Watch what they've found:



Finding Love from hailey bartholomew on Vimeo.


What are you looking for in life and in others?

P.S.: if you're not sure, just look around you - what you see is what you've been looking for up to this moment...

Led By Heart: use your time wisely

This is part 14 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

I don't remember when exactly I first noticed that I wasn't able to make good use of my time, that it was slipping through my fingers way too fast, that I was going to bed with regrets and lots of promises for tomorrow, which I then didn't manage to keep; it must have been some time in my late teens. And ever since I've envied all those purposeful, productive, fruitful people, who all have the same 24 hours in their day like me, yet they use them to get sooo much done! How do they do it?

I know that a lot of people who have difficulties with managing their time start beating themselves up and branding themselves as lazy. But I believe that being lazy is something a lot different; when you're lazy, you don't really care that you're not productive, or that you're wasting your time. You're just awfully comfortable and want to stay that way for as long as you can. But if you're like me, you don't want to be lazy, you want to get stuff done, work on your goals and dreams, and when you don't, you feel defeated and there's this sense of emptiness, even hopelessness sometimes. You feel that time has got the better of you once again, that you can't stay on top of things. You view time as something untamable, uncontrollable, ephemeral, and yourself as weak, distracted, purposeless. But with an attitude like that, how can you ever change it?

In order to finally crack this, I decided to first start observing my "time habits". I wanted to find out where I get derailed and distracted. I realized that I haven't learnt how to become focused; I possess an extremely flickering mind which tends to provide only a perfunctory perception. When there's a bit more demanding task in front of me, one that requires some active, productive thinking, immediately my mind gets busy to find something a little less difficult to do. And I don't even realize that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to till many minutes have already passed. In other words, I need to get serious about cultivating awareness, so that I can tell at all times if there's any difference between what I'm doing and what I should be doing.

The other problem is that I tend to just do whatever is currently "screaming" the most, instead of what is most important. And lastly, I tend to do whatever at the given moment feels the best and most enjoyable, instead of planning out my tasks (with their importance in mind) and purposefully completing them one by one; it's okay to take my time and do things slowly as long as I get them done eventually.

I once came across one of those motivational posters showing a young smiling woman resting her head comfortably on a pillow, and next to her it said Satisfied with today, eager for tomorrow. And it may sound a bit cheesy, but I became totally fascinated with this promise. How wonderful would it be to have this peace of mind, this satisfaction, at the end of each day?

Now that is a goal worth reaching, I thought. And so...

Here's my 10 steps to get in control of my (and your!) time:

#1 go to bed early and get up early
This one is sooo important. I know that when I don't have a good, early start in the morning and I don't get into the flow of work right there, my plans for the day tend to go awry. I'm going to start working on changing my routine and slowly begin getting up earlier - and then getting to work asap.

#2 cultivate awareness
I cannot stress enough how important it is to be conscious of what we're really doing, to be present at all times! We can learn it like anything else, it just takes patience and, well, practise. At first, we might manage to be truly aware only for a couple of minutes, but I believe it is possible to achieve complete, "full-time" awareness. That way we can be truly present at every decision we make, and when we become distracted and stuck on Facebook or youtube, we’ll be able to get back on track much sooner and more easily.

#3 limit significantly time spent on social websites, emails etc.
It should be something of a I-need-a-quick-break-to-clear-my-head, not our first thing in the morning go-to! It could be a good idea to ban yourself from checking those sites altogether for, say, a few days or even a week. And perhaps you'll see a) how much of your time it's been consuming, and b) that you can actually do well without it. If you don't want or can't avoid it completely, set a limit (30 minutes a day?) for the time you spend there. Block your browser from loading those pages if you must. I've decided to be strict with myself on this one.

Also, try not work on the computer when you don't need to! If you want to write something, and you know you'll spend half the time on Pinterest instead, take a notebook and a pen and write at least the draft in hand - sitting at a good distance from your laptop (maybe in the garden or a coffee shop?). For writing you can also use programs like OMM writer which take up you entire screen, not allowing you to see anything else (and it even provides some soothing music for you to listen to as you write). 

#4 set a timer, divide your work in small portions
This is a really efficient way of getting focused - split your task into 20 or 30 minute increments and after each bit take a few minutes to do something just for fun, reward yourself (make yourself a cup of coffee, check your email...). But don't get stuck there! That's why it's good to set a limit to your breaks as well. Don't forget to get quickly back to work.

#5 make your to-do list the evening before
So that in the morning you know right away what you need to get done.
And make a weekly (or even monthly) to-do list as well. It's important to have the bigger picture in mind and know what you're working towards long-term. That way you don't get derailed by all the new things that are coming up. Set a bigger goal - should be just one or two - for the week/month, split it into smaller, manageable bits and tackle one every day.

#6 set reasonable goals
I know I can have totally unreasonable expectations for myself and I'm not the most patient person. Maybe that's the reason why I fail to accomplish what I want. Know your limits! If you can, always double the amount of time you think it will take to complete a task.
Divide your task into smaller chunks - don’t just put "learn French" to your to-do list, write "learn 5 new irregular verbs, or do 3 grammar exercises, or listen to 1 podcast", instead! This is also so much more encouraging, as you will actually be able to tick it off your list at the end of the day!

#7 prioritize!! 
Are you sure that what’s on your list is really so important? All of it? I want you to take the time to reconsider every point one more time. Do you really want to do all that, or do just think you should? Is it necessary? Will it contribute to your (or someone else's) happiness?

DO THE MOST IMPORTANT STUFF FIRST!

#8 delegate
Do you really have to do it all yourself? Why? Make sure it’s not your ego telling you that only you can do it the best way, or that others just can't do it without you. Don’t take responsibility for anyone else’s tasks unless you have a very good reason for it, TRUST them they can do it!

#9 be accountable
Get it out there! Tell others about your goals, your struggles, your decision to get better at time management (or anything else) - write it on your blog or Facebook, tell a friend or a partner to keep asking you about your progress and checking up on you.
If you are a believer, don't forget you're accountable to the Spirit that you are and its purpose. Do you know that you have a destiny to fulfill?

#10 take it easy
You are not defined by check marks, and you are not defined by someone else's idea of accomplishment. Create your own perfect! 


I believe we are supposed to thoroughly enjoy our lives and be proud of what we're doing. We should bear good fruit. What's the fruit of your life?


Here's my other post on making good use of time 'On waiting till Monday' ;)

Led By Heart: when you feel disheartened

This is part 13 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

I wish I could think of some easy advise.


I could tell you that everything will be better tomorrow. But maybe you've been through many tomorrows and nothing's changed. 

I could tell you to hold on to hope. But maybe you've been clinging to it for what seems like forever and yet hope is still the only thing that you have.

I could tell you about the silver linings. But maybe you can't even see the edge of that cloud.

I could tell you to think positively, to try and change your perspective, to set a new, better intention. But maybe you’ve heard that a million times and you know that that’s what you should do, but for some reason you can’t. Not today.

So I’m going to tell you this instead. Sit down quietly for a minute. Put your hand over your heart. Take a deep breath. Feel the rhythm of its beating. 

What should I do? 

Write. Dance. Sing. Go out. Run. Create. And do it for you, because it makes you happy.

Connect. Reach out to others. 

Do not fall into that trap of thinking that you’re the only one in the world who’s going through this. We all are at one point or another. Don’t think that nobody can understand you, because they can. We can.

I also find that when you reach out to someone else to help them, you are actually healing yourself, too.

When we feel disheartened, there’s a part of us which wants to keep us just there; it gets tempted and attracted to that illusory sweetness of sorrow and sadness, and would like to soak us in it. I personally call this part of us the ego.

If you can do just one thing, decide that you’re not going to trust that voice that’s been recounting you all the sad, hopeless stories. They are lies.

And maybe you don’t know what the Truth is right now. But when you recognize the lies, the Truth will start shining more and more brightly.

It will put your heart back to its place.


I'd love to know...
What do you do when you feel disheartened? What has been helping you?

Led By Heart: when your heart's broken

This is part 12 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

It's been quite a long time since I was going through a heartbreak. Yet for some reason my heart has told me today to write about just that. And perhaps there is still something, a shadow, lying on my soul; a memory, a few tears I still haven't cried. And I think we all have them, hidden away...

When your heart has been broken. The relationship, the person that you wanted, loved, slips away from your life and it almost seems too easy for it to happen. It really doesn't take much. Sometimes it's just an ordinary goodbye that you know is the last. Sometimes it's just one sentence. The look in their eyes. Whoever first said that 'the saddest thing in the world is that two people who were once very close can without blame or grand betrayal become strangers'; I think they were right.

It's just so strange. You used to love me and now you're a stranger who happens to know all of my secrets. - Clementine von Radics

And you wish you'd lose these feelings as fast as they lost them.
And you promise yourself you won't think about them and then you break that promise again and again. Keeping yourself busy all the time, yet in those moments between things it flashes back into your mind. Missing them and thinking about them, knowing they aren't thinking about you, and worse, that they don't care.

And you may be asking yourself.
Why do I keep trying to find love?
Why do I keep holding out hope?
Don't I know better? You can't control people and their feelings. You can't trust them. It's not safe to be vulnerable. And loving makes you just that.

And yes, it's true that how long they choose to love you will never be your decision. Or whether they'll love you at all. You can't control that. But honestly, if you could, what would be the point? Where would all the beauty of it be? The unpredictable joy and mystery of love, of life. It just gives both, the greatest pain and the greatest happiness.

If you're going through a heartbreak right now, I want you to know this:

No matter what you think or feel. It wasn't a mistake that you loved them. Keep on loving, keep on falling in love, keep on opening your heart to others. But never forget to love yourself first.

I believe that very often we create our own heartbreaks through haughty expectations and a lack of self-love and self-worth. We also have to keep in mind is that we meet the exact people we need to meet in order to learn out lessons, in order to realize something about ourselves, to shake us awake, to tear apart and soften our ego, to point us to the unresolved, repressed, unhealed areas within us that are crying for our attention.

How long you'll take to learn this lesson is entirely up to you. Sometimes it takes just one heartbreak. Sometimes many.

And you may be thinking...

#1 ...it's keeping on hoping that hurts.
It's not. We cannot exist without hope. Cherish your hope and keep you heart (and mind) open. But what you do need to let go of are some false believes and unhealthy expectations - more on that later.

#2 ...I'm always the one who loves more.
Your love for others can never be bigger than your love for yourself. So if you think you love someone more than you love yourself, the ugly truth is that you need them, you need their love. There's a void in your chest that needs to be filled, but that's too big a task for any human and they felt it (any maybe that's why they left). Only you, your own love (with the help of God, if you believe in Him), can do it.
Or it could just be the quality of the people you choose. Ask yourself why you choose them. Do you choose broken people? Are you trying to fix anybody? Do you know that you can't change anyone, because people can only change themselves when they decide to? Do you know that you're actually supposed to love them as they are right now, in all their complexity, with everything they have, do, and are? If you need an actual reason to love someone, it's not love.

#3 ...I expect too much.
It could be true. They're only humans. Maybe they had been damaged. Being in love could be terrifying when you've already been hurt many times. We all have flaws and make mistakes - are you okay with that? Are you okay with your own mistakes?
But you should, on the other hand, become aware of what you ought to expect. Of what you deserve. You deserve honesty, transparency, loyalty, Love, protection, kindness, open arms. You deserve to be pursued and cherished and treated excellently. It's okay to want to be the only One in their eyes. They should think that - at least to them - you are perfect. Never settle for less.

#4 ...good men/women don't exist. All good men/women are already taken. 
This is just wrong and we both know it. If you've only been meeting the wrong guys/girls so far, it's time to start hanging out in different places and possibly also with different people. And it's time for some "mind cleansing"! 
You can try this: sit down with a pen and a piece of paper and on top of it write: What I think about men (or also What I think about romantic relationships). And then just write everything that comes to your head, do not censure yourself, do not stop to reread what you've written and do not judge it, keep going no matter how long it takes, until you reach the point when you don't have anything more to write. Suddenly, your mind will be blank. Empty. Perfect! Now you've created some space in your head for the TRUTH to get in. 
Have you ever wondered why you can't hear what your heart/intuition/God is saying? Yes, it's because your head is full of whatever your mind is currently producing and there's just no room for the Light to get in. Now that you've made that space, you will find out that some new  - much more loving, accepting and truthful - ideas and thoughts are coming in. 


In the end, I would like to tell you... Embrace everything. 

This is your life. Think of all the ups and downs you've had, all the triumphs and sorrows. All the lessons and how they've changed you, molded you into who you are. This is it. And it's a lot like a sine curve. Like waves on the ocean. You are going to be alright eventually. Cry as hard and as long as you need. Forgive them. Forgive yourself. Learn. Love again.

Don't let the heart that didn't love you keep you from the one that will.