Led By Heart: Know Your 'Why'

This is part 2 of my 'Led By Heart' series for the 31-day writing challenge. You can find the list of all my 31 posts here. Click here to check out the other participating blogs!

Why am I doing this?

Yesterday, I became completely absorbed in this writing challenge, today I've spent hours reading the other blogs, admiring their gorgeous designs, meaningful topics, their clever social networks linking. So, I went on to spend even more time following the discussions on Facebook, liking and commenting, pinning all the interesting blogs to my Pinterest board, improving "the look" of my page, then pinning some more. Thinking about my topic and how it is so very... ordinary. A kind of a topic that is not destined to get me a lot of readers, it won't make me popular, the talk of the town. No, clearly not. I check how many views my post has. Is it increasing? Not really. For a moment, I stop and hesitate. A question appears out of nowhere What's the point then? I feel tired and the whole thing has barely begun. My excitement is vanishing. My heart is heavy in my chest. I don't know what to do. I hate this thought What's the point...

But if I must have it answered, here it goes:

The point is joy, the point is lightheartedness, fun, being creative, stretching myself, being committed to something worthwhile for a change, getting out of my comfort zone, discovering interesting and inspiring people, surprising myself with what I'm able to do, finally reconnecting with my heart by getting all the grey bits out through writing. To stop seeking wisdom and guidance outside of me and turn within. Because it is there and has always been. My heart, the home of my soul, God's beautiful spark. This spark alone could sustain me, help me with everything, nourish me, guide me, strengthen me, encourage me. It is there to make sure that I always know who I am, so that I can be reminded again and again that in spite of my feeling alone, different, singular, I am in fact always and forever an inseparable part of the wonderful Wholeness of Creation, that I am - we are - made of stars and they are reflected in us, too. So why compare myself to anyone?

Today, I've made a decision. I am going to do this for me. Not to prove something, not to compete with others, compare my work with theirs, not to stress about attracting readers and waste my precious time trying to figure out all the gimmicks and tricks of "connecting" and "making myself more visible online". All of it is only taking me away from the truly important - creating, writing, rediscovering. And so I am letting go of all the expectations, too. I am going to enjoy this one sentence at a time. One day at a time. And if nothing happens? Well, I am here doing what I love - that's already something, is it not?

It's funny how people are always happy with their work until they see what somebody else has done. In that moment the little nagging devil of comparison comes in. And after him, the doubt. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we lack confidence so much? Do not misunderstand me, I think it is great to see what others are doing, appreciate their work and perhaps gain some inspiration from it, but that should be all! The mere fact that a certain approach, style, topic is working for a certain someone does not mean that it's the right thing for me as well. And who says that theirs is the best way, the one where the "success" is guaranteed? If it's just that little unloving voice in my head - which it is - I am not going to listen to any longer.

I am here to find my own style, my own way of doing things. And more than anything, to do my best and let go of the rest.

Today, my heart is telling me this: Create and the improvement will come. Create, have faith, be consistent, be bold, be honest, and one day, to your surprise, you might find that others are looking up to you. Wanting a bit of your approach, your style. But that won't make you all puffed up. It'll make you smile humbly. Because that approach is just this: courageous authenticity. Being yourself, simply and openly.

My heart whispers: Know your 'why' and make sure that it's to do with me. You don't want to be trying to impress anyone, rather appreciate what others are doing knowing that in the end, you are all working towards the same goal. Be authentic. Don't make such a big deal out of it. Don't let the pleasure of pure creating slip away. Smile.